Tuesday, January 2, 2018

tuesday {truth}

So about 5 years ago a woman came into the rustic rooster store front and told me about a series of motivational CD's that I should listen to. I smiled graciously and said, Oh thank you so very much {did an internal laugh}... I definitely should get them. Thanks!  Then as she left I went back to what I was doing and completely forgot about those CD's... Until one weekend when my daughter had a soccer tournament... I was very botherd on my drive to the game and couldn't find peace. Then I found myself wondering into Barns and Noble during our break before the next game and asking the sales lady for the CD's. As I got into my car after the tournament I was eager to start listen to them. I did!  As I drove I concentrated on every word that the woman was saying. I was hoping for a miracle {wink}. A transformation within my mind and attitude... I wanted it right then and there! Man that was very tiering. So to be honest with you for about a week or so later I really tried to listen to the CD's in hope of a change within me. Then one day I noticed my kids took the CD out and put in something different. Hmmmm I wonder if it was a sign {haha}. So about 3 years went by and I completly forgot about the CDs. No joke It never crossed my mind again to listen to them. Then one day I noticed my sunglasses my ex husband bought me for mothers day were missing. I searched high and low in my car... Questioned my children and then tried one more space... The side pocket of my door. Nope... No sunglesses to be found. Except the CD's. Hmmm Was it a sign {wink}? Ok you guessed what I did next... Took the CD out of the case and started back again. I listened! But this time I really listened. I was intrigued. I understood. I could feel her words go through my body and settle in my brain. Obviously, I was craving change in my life {again} right at that moment. To be clear I had gone through so much change in my life that I wasn't looking for more change... I was looking for more of a personality and mind shift. I needed to think differently, accept, forgive, be positive in negative situations and love life to the fullest. Take time to love my surroundings and slow down.   Oh my gosh... I started my transformation that day. No joke it started... Was it a sign that my sunglasses from my past were stolen? I kind of believe that it was. New start... New beginning. I will never really know that answer, but what I do know is,  I had to look to find my sunglasses to find the CD which has brought me to a place in my life that I'm above and beyond loving. When we need something in life because pain has flooded us... We crave change and we seek out peace. Totally normal. I'm the first to say that I've gone through a very rough road... But I'm the first to say that I have made a choice to make my next chapter in my life amazing. If I sit and complain about everything where is it going to get me?! So the minute all my pain started was the minute I choose to make a better life for me and my little ones. Listen... This is so important, You all have a choice in life! So if you make a mistake... That was your choice no one else's! So moving on, I needed to think and act differently. Oh boy it was an interesting road... I'm still on that interesting {learning} road, but I love it!  It's funny because I now watch and listen to people more intensely. I observe my surroundings. I heard a little kid in Target the other day, say mommy I'm wearing a blue T-Shirt can I get a blue slurpie, so If I spill It won't show. Love this! I notice people on their cell phones in public places so much. No conversations with their loved ones. Nothing! I see birds and blue skies which fill me up with happiness... If someone does something to me, I sit back and say, hmmm I don't know what's going on in their lives so I'm going to back off and not take it personally. That moment really isn't about me at all... They are projecting their insecurities on me so they can feel better about themselves. I will admit that's so hard for me because I'm a very sensitive person and I want to help everyone. So it always cuts deep then I stand up and realize that it isn't about me!!! Shhh I do need a few moments to myself to vent and then I release the negativity! I'm thankful for my life now. I'm thankful for my job... I love where I'm going. Things are changing for me in so many ways... Doors are opening and I'm meeting new and exciting people I haven't even thought I would meet before and i'm going places and doing things I never thought I would go or do! Being thankful for what you have is so important. Realizing that you have more than other people can truly change your world. I've never once thought I wasn't blessed, but you start taking for granted things. Look where you sleep... Look at the food you eat... Look at your family... Once you stop and actually l o o k you will understand what I'm talking about. I was invited into this woman group coincidentally after I started listening to the CD's. OMG these woman were crazy smart and extremely successful... No joke I was beyond intimidated and scared to go. But I put my big girl pants on and said, hey you're amazing they invited you for a reason! Hands down that was the best group I have ever been too. I cried in my car when it was over. These woman knew me. Me... Little old me?!?! As one was just about to publish a  cookbook, another was getting ready to jetset to Europe for her high-powered job... Another was starting up a new business and then their was me. They knew little old designer me. The funny thing was all these woman had the same issues and we all connected with the number 3 and 4. Each one of us hit road blocks in our lives {marriage, work, children, life, love... etc} the same time as I did. Each one of us found peace. Right at that point I knew I was walking forward and not looking backwards. Someone once told me I was looking in the rearview mirror of life... Well, guess what that's completely untrue Looking forward is pretty bright... and I love my new sunglasses! Make a list... Start checking thing off and remember life knows how to handle those who make bad choices and those who make good ones. You don't have to prove to people what your worth... Be you and be the best that you can be.  Talk to people how you would want someone to talk to you! So basically the reason for my post today is... If your stuck in life... Sit and make a list. What do you want to do? When do you want to do? Why are you angry? Why are you not letting go? My list has a lot of cleaning and eliminating on it... Start fresh and new. I have a storage unit that was filed with stuff that reminded me of my past so I've cleansed it... and organized what I want to go forward with! This excites me so much. I feel happier when I eliminate... Call me crazy, but I feel like I go forward more smoothly. So right now you all would be so proud of me because of these steps forward and changes I've made. My courtyard is almost clean and my storage unit is almost organized. Haha I love it!  

Those 4 years were the longest 4 years of my life. Now I look back and say oh my gosh that went by so fast! I believe that's a very very good thing... {HUGE SMILE}!

For those of you who want to know what CD's I  listened to... Well,  Here it is {they're a series}...

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